Where Have I Been....

My last post was almost a Year ago...A whole year!?!!??
WHERE have I BEEN....

Well, life has been a roller coaster this past year. After Christmas mi Madre had a stroke, which she ended up in the hospital for a week, and did I mention we had just started our vacation in Colorado. Other than living in the hospital with her for a week we LOVED the BEAUTIFUL state. Her recovery was also an adjustment to the family, her eating differently (we found out she has diabetes that was causing mini strokes), living with us for a month, and her not being able to drive in case she had another stroke. 

I was tired and stressed, which is just life, right? So that was the months of January and February.

March & April, who knows what I was doing....

But the end of April & starting of May, I had the chance to experience something GREAT...@ my church they have a program called Weigh Less to Feed More. I always heard wonderful things about the program & I know the lady who runs it does a FANTASTIC job providing Holy Yoga & Revelation Fitness for our church. Those reasons alone are enough for someone to want to check out the program, but not for me. I was in search of something....
The Hubs during April, told me that I was never happy, all I did was sleep, and that I NEVER felt well. Which in my defense I was like " Hello.. my mother just had a stroke & it's very stressful!"

But in my mind I was like..."Oh, my gosh Becca you're not even 30 yet & is this how your life is going to be??!!Sleeping all the time, never feeling well, being bitter, hating people, angry & the list goes on & on....."

So my search for something was founded in Weigh Less to Feed More. Two wonderful things happened when I went through the program         

          1. I realized how 

             broken I was...&

             tired of doing  

             it on my own.

          2. That I never ate,

             because it made me 

             feel gross.

Come to find out that I have a Gluten Allergy (not an intolerance) & my body hates Dairy....which is sad for me because my taste buds LOVE Dairy....So that means for me, a total different way of eating, which truthfully is hard, because I love to go out and eat. And if I want my body to feel normal I have to make food at home, or pay a small fortune @ a restaurant. 

Other Reasons I've been away....Because of my food Allergies I was constantly gaining weight...nothing fit, I got to my largest size ever...& just felt ugly, big, & unattractive. But here's the thing with Beauty. It's not a size, or a certain look, it’s your heart & my heart was so in tangled with ugliness & bitterness. I breathed ugly because that was what my heart looked like. It doesn't matter what size my pants are, my heart reflected ugly & that’s how I felt.

All this to be said. The Lord healed me & every day that I am willing too, He heals me some more. I am a constant work of Art being molded, which truthfully most of the time is not fun & super hard. But in the end it’s worth it to not be breathing Ugly or feeling ugly on the inside....because who wants that?